You Can Control What Seems out of Control
I just couldn’t deal with the stress and anxiety I was feeling over COVID-19 anymore. The world felt completely out of control and so was I. I had gone so far down the rabbit hole trying to digest everything, that I got super stressed. Not sleeping. Feeling sad all the time. I felt completely overwhelmed and out of control – I need to start taking back control. I didn’t know what to do to get back to my happy, positive self until I took a step back, took a breath and looked at what I can control.
What I Read and Who I Believe
I can control what I read and give credit to. Big tip – remove apps from your phone that are not serving you. For me it was Facebook. I wasn’t deriving any pleasure from mindlessly scrolling through, bad news, upon fake news, upon gossip, anger, and fear. It was adding fuel to a raging bonfire of fear and anxiety that was already ablaze inside of me. The moment I deleted that one app from my phone, things started to feel better. I was so much calmer.
Of course I can still check in and post from my laptop, but a laptop is not as convenient as a phone. In turn I have found myself only checking the feed once or twice a day. And here’s the mind blowing thing – It turns out I’ve not missed anything important. I’ve decided to receive COVID-19 updates from sites such as the World Health Organisation and the Australian Government. These sites provide cold hard facts and recommendations from professionals and NOT Aunty Mertal’s hyped up, fake Facebook posts. I am much less overwhelmed.
Does It Spark Joy?
I can control who, and what dominates my news feed. By becoming mindful of what apps I am using, and who I am subscribed to, I have been able to make a positive change. I KondoMethod-ed my new feed by asking myself one question. “Does this (thread/person/platform) spark joy?”. If it did, it stayed, if it did not, it got deleted or unfollowed. Take Reddit for example. Until I unsubscribed from r/coronavirus, it was the one thread that was dominating my feed. It was all I was seeing so it felt like the only topic I had the capacity to think about. By unsubscribing from that one thread it curbed that “in your face 24/7” issue for me.
In it’s place I have subscribed to threads that do spark joy in me (for example my hobbies). I highly recommend you do the same! Think about things that bring real, genuine joy to your life and put a smile on your face. For you it might be puppies, but for me it was r/indoorgardening. Seeing other proud plant parents (yes, it’s a thing) sharing the joy over a row of sprouting seedlings brings me real joy. An actual smile comes over my face! This is because I can relate to their joy. They are sharing their endorphins with me. I feel happy for them, and that happy feeling spreads smiles throughout my day.
I can control what emails I read. I’ve stopped trying to read every single email that comes in! I can’t even count the number of emails I’ve been receiving from companies telling me how they are dealing with the COVID-19 situation. It’s great they are keeping me in the loop, bless ém, but I just can’t deal right now! So I’ve stopped reading them. I’ve also taken the opportunity to hit unsubscribe from any emails that I never get around to reading anyway. It’s not that I don’t appreciate what they are doing – it’s not on my priority radar right now. Emptying a cluttered inbox is something I have control over. It feels knowing that tomorrow there will be less emails coming in which I wasn’t going to read anyway.
Mind Your Mind
I can control how much me time I prioritise each day. This is a particularly stressful time we are all going through so it’s more important than ever to be taking care of ourselves. Putting your oxygen mask on (or anti-aging face mask in this case) means taking care of yourself. When you fly on an aeroplane, the flight attendant instructs you to “put your oxygen mask on first,” before helping others. I’m not usually big into self-love and face masks but right now I am making and exception. If I am to be of service to my family and community, I need to slap on that fabulous face mask and be doing regularly.
It is also important to mind our mind and take some time out. I figure why not be efficient and combine time out with a bit of self love; and feel doubly good in the same amount of time. For me, every night for the past week, I’ve left my phone in the lounge room and had a 30 minute soak in a hot bath. I will indulge in some mindless sci-fi novel – something that transports me to another place and give my brain a break from reality. I also fill the bath with with magnesium, bath salts, and body oils. So not only do I get out feeling soft as a babies you know what, but the house has been smelling amazing too #somanywins.
Channel Your Inner Plant
I can control how grounded I am in the moment. I love the saying “Don’t forget to drink water, get sunlight, and fresh air… You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions”. It’s funny because it’s true! Where possible we need to get outside every single day. In fact, as I write this I am sitting outside with a cool breeze on my face, listening to singing birds; absolute heaven!
Connecting to nature can be so therapeutic. I recommend walking barefoot on a patch of grass, or go and hand water some plants. See how good it feels! Calmer and more grounded I bet. It allows us a moment of peaceful contemplation away from our phones. Where possible, I highly recommend opening all the windows and doors in your house. It will allow the stale air to leave and with a bit of luck, you’ll get a touch of sunshine and hear some birds singing.
Do What Makes You Happy
I can control what I listen to. And just like a plant I thrive on music. I try to play music from morning till night. I sing, I dance and I groove. If my kid doesn’t already think I am nuts he definitely will once all this craziness has subsided. When my jam comes on, I stop everything and break into dance. I’m rocking out and teaching him some pretty cool moves too! We have a brilliant time. Initially it can feel silly but he loves it, I love it and it really gets the endorphins flowing. I imagine it will be one of his childhood memories. “Remember when Mum used to just randomly bust out a groove? She was crazy like that!”
I can control what exciting meal I prepare for my family. Just for fun, try pulling out a random can from the pantry and Google a recipe to use it in. I have gone and surprised my family with how creative I can be. It’s mind blowing how creative I’ve become in the kitchen by removing the option of takeaway from the equation. I’m really getting a kick out of creating delicious, wholesome foods from scratch that the family also loves. Who knew you could do so much with rolled oats!
When we give the time to breath and remove obstacles limiting our imagination and self belief, we prove to ourselves how amazingly competent we are!
Stay on Task
I can control what I accomplish in a day. Each night before bed, my 4 year old and I list the things that we would like to accomplish the following day. We write our joint to-do-list on a big white board, tick boxes and all. This is an important time for both of us. He feels that I am placing great value on the activities that he holds dear. Meanwhile I get to do all the things that I need to do like ‘feed child’ and ‘brush teeth!’. Before you laugh, know that those two items have actually appeared on the list before!
In fact sometimes when I’m feeling particularly under accomplished and in need of a reaffirming ‘tick on the board’, I will legitimately list an item that I have already completed – just so I can tick it off! I can’t say enough about the power of to-do-lists and their importance. We’re able to write down all the things we need to action. Once they are written down and out of our head, we can stop stressing over them. We can just action them, systematically, one by one. We can easily see which are the priorities and deal with them accordingly.
Be Kind and Do the Next Right Thing
I can control how I react, and I can choose to be kind. Before leaving the house I assume that most people I see are just as stressed as me. I have prepared myself to give them the grace that I would like people to give me. Look at challenges that may arise through a filter of “everyone is doing their best”. Remembering that we are all in this together and together we will get through this, should help keep everything in perspective.
I can control what I do next. When you don’t know what else to do remember to just do the next right thing. With all of the uncertainty and mixed messages out there it’s easy to be confused with what the next right thing is. For me, I have to do the moral gut check test. If it feels morally wrong, don’t do it. If it feels morally right, then it’s probably a safe bet.
What’s been helping you feel in control? Have any tips for fellow readers? Join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
